Marriage is an institution they say, whereas
institutions take not less than 4 years and above to master your discipline but
marriage is just not taken as seriously as an institution even though it is a more
complicated discipline, a man and a woman can meet in a space of one week or
one month or one year and they want to settle down immediately.
Suddenly they generate
the need to get married out of nowhere and that is the problem we are having in
marriages today, people do not prepare for marriage, people prepare for
wedding. But before you get into marriage, here are the 10 questions you must sincerely
ask yourself before getting into marriage;
1. At what age do you feel is right for you to get married?
2. What is your major source of income and how do
your earnings thrive?
3. What is the girl’s age?
4. Do you the girl’s mother too well if she’s still
alive, and have you had encounter with her? This question is important because her
mother is her confidant, so you need to know the attitude of the person who
your woman is entrusting her secrets to.
5. How long have I known this girl? Has it been
mostly on the phone, have we actually stayed together for a while?
6. What is your natural liking that prompted you to
want to propose marriage to her? Is it money, her beauty, her natural
disposition, her work, her own wealth, her family background, her religiosity
etc.?
7. What position is she in her family? Is she the
first daughter, first child, last daughter, last child? How many siblings does
she have?
8. Have you had any sexual contact with her? What is
her sexual behaviour, which is what is her longing and appetite for sex?
9. What is in her about her anger? What is her
metaphysical weakness, her porosity, what is the velocity of her anger? How does
she express her anger, how does she manage her anger, is she the type that is
suspicious always, is she Godly inclined?
10. This last one is an introspective question, how
many years does it take a man to become an engineer? It takes about 5 years or
so right? Now how many years does it take people to marry? Well the answer is
that marriage doesn’t have any special duration for it to happen, it can occur
at any time when the both couple think that they have had enough time to have
mastered what it takes for them to be together, which might be about a week, a
month, a year or ten years, it doesn’t matter.
That is the problem we are having today, people do
not prepare for marriage, they prepare for marriage, once a man sees a woman,
or a woman sees a man, then they want marriage now, even those who were once
married but later became widows, forgetting that that thing called marriage is
a serious business. If a medical doctor can spend 7 years in the university
including houseman ship and youth service to operate on the human body, how
much more two people from different background, different ideology, different
rationality, different actuation and different pedagogy, it’s a food for
thought.
There is no need to rush into marriage, if the
pressure is coming from you as the man, just cool down, what will be will be,
if the pressure is so much coming from her, then cool her down systematically. It
is the course of that patience that you will see what you don’t know and what
you wouldn’t have seen if you had rushed into the marriage, just allow the
relationship to take its natural course because it is in nature we have God and
in nature grace operates therefore, anything you are doing you must cooperate with
the grace, and the grace is available for everybody, so its left for you to
cooperate with the grace.
Patience is a virtue in finding a life partner, it
is super metaphysical, it is beyond reasoning and comprehension, but yet it is
that tool that reveals secrets even about yourself which you don’t know and
about the lady which you don’t know too. There is what is called in psychology ‘The
Joharis Window’; that is something I know which you know, there is something
you know which I don’t know. Then there is something that I don’t know, you don’t
know but somebody knows and that is God.
So as am saying, there are one thousand and one
things which a husband doesn’t know about his newly married wife, and also the
wife too doesn’t know about the husband too or about their families and your
educational wisdom and certificate is not enough to bring it out, it is nature
that will bring it out. When nature brings it out, as the gift of wisdom that
God gave you, you will now know if you can now mechanize that thing which you
found out, you will know if you can correct it, if you can tilt it, if you can
panel beat it, but if you find out that it is too much and you cannot, then you
walk.
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